So, you’re ready to propose to the love of your life. Congratulations! But there’s an important piece of information you’ll need before you can buy her engagement ring: her ring size. Figuring out her ring size can be tricky if you don’t want to ask her directly. While asking her (or going with her to get sized) is the best way to get an accurate size, this can take the surprise element out of a proposal, which many people find unappealing. If you have your heart set on a surprise proposal, we’re here to help. In this post, we’ll cover all the ways you can figure out her engagement ring size without asking.


1. Ask Her Friends or Family

One of the simplest ways to figure out her ring size is to ask her friends or family if they know it. If your partner usually wears jewelry, it’s possible that a family member has bought her a ring in the past or a friend has gone shopping with her, learning her ring size in the process. While friends and family may not have this information, asking them is always worth a try.


2. Get Intel

If her friends and family don’t already know her ring size, they may be able to find out. You can try getting someone else to directly ask her about her ring size under the guise that they’re buying her a ring (moms can buy rings too, after all). Or, you can ask someone to slyly bring it up in conversation. There are many ways they can do this. For example, a friend could compare sizes while shopping or a sister could wonder aloud if they have the same ring size.

Your friends could also get involved in getting intel, especially if you have any friends who are thinking of getting engaged themselves. You could have a guy friend say he’s thinking of proposing to his girlfriend but that he needs help finding the ring. Then, you could enlist your partner to help him shop and “give opinions on ring styles.” But, really, the goal of her helping would be to get her ring size while she’s in store modeling rings for your friend.

If you decide to go with the intel route, the trick for success is enlisting people who are good actors. Don’t ask for help from a friend or family member who has a terrible poker face, as they could blow your cover.


3. Sneak One of Her Rings

Another way to find her ring size is to sneak one of her rings out of her jewelry box, then take it to a jeweler to learn its size. If you’re lucky enough to have a partner who wears a ring on her ring finger on her left hand, this tactic would work perfectly. However, most women don’t wear rings on that finger until they’re engaged, so you might have to pick another ring, tell the jeweler which finger she wears the ring on, and have the jeweler estimate her ring finger size.

For this method, it’s important to note that the fingers on opposite hands can be different sizes. That means if she wears a ring on the ring finger of her right hand, it may not be the size she would need for her engagement ring. Be sure to look closely at which finger she wears her rings on when trying this tactic and tell the jeweler this important information.


4. Trace One of Her Rings

This tactic is the same as the last one, but without the risk of being caught with one of her rings. If you’re worried she’d notice if you swiped one of her rings for a day, you can also try tracing that ring on a piece of paper, then taking your tracing to a jeweler.


5. Try a Ring on Her – With a Jeweler’s Help

With a little advance planning, you can get a jeweler to help you get her size. Try saying that you want to get her a new piece of jewelry but that you want her to pick it out. Then, head to a jeweler who you’ve asked in advance to help get her ring size. She might gravitate toward necklaces or earrings but a jeweler can ask her to try on rings too— then get her size for you while she’s trying one on.

With this method, you can get her a lovely, less expensive piece of jewelry on the trip, while also walking away with her engagement ring size.


6. When in Doubt, Go Large

If you’ve tried all these steps (or ruled them out— maybe her friends are clueless, no one is game to help you get her ring size, she never wears rings, and you know she won’t try one on) and nothing worked, you may need to guess a bit. If you do need to guess, you’ll probably end up having to resizing her ring later. And if you do need to resize, know that it’s easier to resize a ring down than up. So, consider guessing on the large size.